Brian Mark - Guitaraholic

Sometimes, what you order sounds much worse than what you eat. We nicknamed this the Chippendale special. The order was hot-and-naked with bowtie and a spicy sausage. It sounded very indecent and gave us all a bunch of laughs. What else do we need to try that sounds really inappropriate?

I don't normally look at the ads in my gmail, but one caught my eye today. It was in an email copy of this post , which could go on this blog too I suppose (since it involves IT hardware), but that's not the point of what I'm writing now. Now that's a funny ad. Not quite sure how they can sell pictures of that, but hey - someone will buy, I'm sure.

Many of you are probably familiar with I Can Has Cheezburger . If you're not, it's a site where pictures of animals (normally cats) are portrayed with funny / catchy slogans with simple misspellings that make it even better. That's often referred to as lolspeak. Today, Michael (sitting across the square room from me) came across one of their tools for making your own and put together this image: Very nice. Now, we just need to get a blog set up for properpet.com to start putting those on.

I was playing around with Kontera tonight, and decided to check a few pages to see what gets displayed. Let me tell you - some of these are funny. Yes... I've always wanted a review of how nice it is to have herpes. Or maybe I haven't. How lovely. Saving money. What is this, a discount in Vegas? Too weird. Wow, I never realized that smarter.com was an adult site. Here I thought they were shopping related. ;)

Ok, so I've always maintained that the difference between a geek and a nerd is where the decimal falls in the paycheck. So I guess they didn't ask the question to get that right, but still, Nerd God sounds really, well... nerdy. Carolyn (cshel) tagged me to take the nerd quiz, and only 1% are nerdier than I. Of course, she probably knew that before she tagged me. So, to keep the tradition going, I'll tag NeO , Rumblepup , Matt Griffith and My Dad .

Ok, so the 500 Internal Server Error was funny. Well, this upgrade message is funny, too. Hmmm... something like this could work well on our new site. ;)

Bow to me, like Epiar . Their comments just made me laugh on this image . Thanks, Ken and company. :)

I tried going to twitter's homepage today and got a 500 Internal Server Error. For a moment, I wasn't sure what I was looking at (it was one of the many tabs that started with my browser), but it was sure a lot more entertaining than the traditional 500 error. On a side note, it looks like my blog post yesterday got the attention of Hitwise. My account got unlocked. I think it was probably through a google alert or similar, because I don't think they normally read my blog. Thanks for the responsiveness, guys.

I've been a fan of many things in the past, but we now have a fan of our own. You can see it in the video below.

Those of you who enjoy a good joke, remember that there may be repercussions from your actions. Not only in terms of reputation, but also in terms of links / SERPs / business. Take, for example, a couple days ago. We didn't do anything special for ToolBarn. A couple of our competitors did "Funny" things. We saw one of our best Sunday sales totals ever. For that, I've got to thank them. But sometimes the joke bites back at you for days afterwards. For example, today's #1 result for "seo blog" on google. Yes, Mr. Cutts did a nice "Hacked" theme for the day, and two days later we're seeing the Hacked SERPs. You'd think he would have known enough to cloak that so his SERP description didn't lessen his credibility. All in all, not the best planning I've seen.

Have you ever wondered what a search engine bot looks like? Well, I've met them first hand at Search Engine Strategies , and they're a scary beast. Yahoo's Slurp, Google's Googlebot and others are strong bots, running around and grabbing pages from all over the web. Once trapped, you'll have a hard time getting them to let it go. They'll hold on to it for a very long time, until at some point it either gets banned or it vanishes into the supplemental index. They're truly mean bots. On the other hand, MSNbot (some may say it's a-LiveBot) has the same core concept, but it seems to have missed one important piece. While it still runs around and finds pages, it's got a much tougher time holding on to them. This has led to numerous indexing problems. Hopefully they can get their bot's issues repaired soon, but I'm not holding my breath on that one. They're just too corporate for pincers ( defined as "Noun : roach clip, roach holder - met...

I just got an email from network solutions that made me laugh. You can see to the right what I'm talking about. I think they forgot decimal points, because $3499 for a 1 year domain registration isn't a good deal. Either they missed that "." key on their keyboard (6 times), or the price of domains has really gone up over the past few days since I last bought one.

As we were talking about some of the new products we were adding to our website today, this one became the center of our discussion. What was Occidental thinking in creating a product and trademark for "Full Fist", much less having a 3X size. Yes, that's XXX Full Fist action. I'm eagerly awaiting the search traffic on that one, let me tell you. That goes right along with the 4' vibrators we sell. These tool companies, I tell ya.

As I was reading about yet another zero day exploit in office today, a co-worker and I came to an amazing revelation. Microsoft is keeping the global IT economy flourishing. Not only are all of those using the exploits to make money getting rich, but they are pretty much singlehandedly keeping the security industry (one of the fastest growing sectors in IT) in business. For that, I'd like to say thanks. Now, for those of you who don't like exploits, you can also say no thanks. I'm saying that by NOT upgrading to Vista. I intend to continue to support CentOS and Ubuntu for quite some time yet, unless an even cooler free version of Linux comes along. It seems Vista is pushing more people to look at Linux as a viable alternative. Thanks for that too, Microsoft.

So there is a link going around right now, which most people just think is funny. I think it tells us a sad story. Barbie uses a drill to prepare rabbit rotisserie style, which was killed by running it over by a bike, was skinned by a pocket knife and will be eaten by a roboreptile. Obviously, that's the only conclusion one can come up with. Why else would someone need all that stuff with a fresh whole rabbit?

Look out, Patrick Gavin and crew. Google is on to you. As you can see, my gmail has already alerted me that anyone buying links through text-link-ads will obviously be needing to file a re-inclusion request, so they included the link for convenience. That's awfully swell of them. I guess I'll quit marketing and start filing re-inclusion requests now. They're on to this little game of yours. Matt Cutts finally figured out your scheme. Yeah... right. And next you'll tell me MSN's results are totally SPAM-less. At least Google has a good enough sense of humor to make me laugh today.

“They’re always after ‘me Open Source Secrets!” A favorite for more geeks than sheiks, delicious Linux Charms cereal features frosted oats and colored marshmallows. Tux the Penguin creates the marshmallow shapes – yellow dogs , red hats , and white boxes – with his Open Source magic. While kids love the taste, parents are happy that Linux Charms is fortified with 256 bit security, and is a good source of independent thought. It’s openly delicious! This magical Yellow Dog marshmallow, while not all that well known, has been found to be particularly tasty for those with iPod, cell phone and PS3 serving utensils. Probably the most famous of the Linux charms marshmallows is the Red Hat, which has taken the enterprise breakfast to the level of banquet in a short amount of time. White boxes have a flavor similar to that of Red Hats, but are getting to be much more plentiful due to their low cost and quality ingredients. We include White Boxes in each and every spoonful of Linux Charms ...